Grief is a container for other emotions, such as sorrow, sadness, fear, emptiness and longing. Experiencing these deep intense emotions can feel like you’ve been taken over by something you cannot control. Grief colours our experience of life. We often become rooted in the past unable to fully enjoy present life. We seek out ways to distract, numb or deny our pain. By refusing to lean into our pain we prolong the experience of it, thereby limiting the healing and growth available.

I know the energy it takes to hold intense overwhelming emotions at bay, and the fear of opening the floodgates lest I be swallowed up entirely.  But what I’ve learnt is that pain and suffering offer an entry point to love, liberation and peace.

With self-awareness practices we become interoceptive – more attuned to our body/mind/energy system and the emotions within our system. Research shows that interoceptive awareness supports our ability to engage in life’s challenges with flexibility, adaptability and resilience. It also increases natural pain control, empathy, intuition and the desire to self-care.

When we create distance from our emotions and feelings, through distraction, denial, addiction and the endless act of being busy, we become lost in our head and disconnected from our essential self.  Opening the door to our feelings offers a deep connection with self and with presence, and only through moving back into our body can we occupy the fullness of our being.


We each have within us a conscious awareness, a wisdom and intelligence, that knows just what is needed and how to be in relation to our grief. I want to share with you how to access this wisdom. But first, let’s look at emotions. In Latin the word emotion is ‘emotere’, which literally means energy in motion. Emotions are waves of energy which carry feelings such as joy, sorrow, sadness, anger, frustration. These waves are invisible to the naked eye and travel faster than thought. Emotions are themselves, physical states arising from the body in response to external stimuli. In other words, emotions are ever changing, moveable, not fixed. We tend to clamp down tight around emotions, identifying and defining ourselves by them.

Emotions and feelings, what’s the difference?  “Feelings are mental experiences of body states, which arise as the brain interprets emotions, themselves physical states arising from the body’s responses to external stimuli.” Professor Antonio Damasio

Emotions as communications help us to make life meaningful, transforming our world from a sequence of events, data and facts to a living and breathing experience. When we look at emotional and physical pain as messages from the unconscious – PAIN is Please Acknowledge, Information, Now!

From an energy perspective, pain as a consequence of trapped emotions, beliefs and unconscious programs, appear to me as clusters of energy attached to the body system, and sometimes the organs that generated them. Our perceptions of self and life become informed and influenced by the information and beliefs stored in these clusters. They are not the truth of who you are, but they do veil your true self.

In my work with people experiencing grief through loss of a loved one or a child, their health, identity or way of life, I have seen how embracing a mind/body/spirit approach allows compassionate, deep and powerful healing, and for love to take over.  Mary O’Malley writes, ‘what is in the way, is the way.’ I believe this too and I believe Embodied Wisdoming & Grief Movement helps open the door so you can meet your pain and begin to cultivate a deep connection with yourself while unlocking your natural healing ability.  Those who have attended have said this program allowed them to find a way to sit with their grief, experience more connection to self and awareness of how to feel okay with not being okay. Others shared how by embracing their pain and moving with it they were able to release it making space for pure love.

Cultivate a practice of conscious presencing
Quite simply, conscious presencing is the action of being here now and is key to healing. Our body loves to sigh. Breath is our very own magic provides a kind of sanctuary which we can access and use anywhere, anytime. Conscious breathing ignites praan – the pure essence of life and vitality – in every cell in our body.

Our body loves deep wide breaths yet most of us live the day shallow breathing. When we breathe consciously, we experience our own inner sanctuary of deep, open peace. We drop into our body, create balance within our ANS, autonomic nervous system, and heart coherence. This is where we come home to our essential self and access the deep wellspring of embodied wisdom. Here compassion flows easily and as we unfold all that we’ve held tightly onto, the deepest human pain minimises and the space for reconnection and healing occurs.

As a moment-to-moment practice, when thoughts become intrusive, and the mind restless, when we’re looking outside of ourselves for a remedy of peace, bring your attention to your breath. Here in the present moment. Watch the breath ebb and flow, rise and fall. Feel the sensation of the breath in your body. Watch. Feel. Sense. Allow deep slow breaths. Silently affirming to yourself, I Am Here.

Mandi Cloete – Living Presence, is a Transformational Coach, Intuitive, Meditation Teacher and Mother. She facilitates the Embodied Wisdom & Grief Movement program which begins 16th October at the Heart Place, Fremantle.

A thank you letter

I came to see Mandi because, although I was very happy in my life, there was a shadow cast from a string of failed relationships. One relationship had ended over two years ago but I was still struggling to let go of it in my head. I felt that I wanted peace and to be able to fully move on from the past and into my future in a way that was clear and uncluttered. Most of all I wanted to be free from the thoughts of my ex-lover that would enter my head unwelcomed. Usually during the precious time when I wasn’t preoccupied with work or caring for my children. These times I felt should have been for me, not spent raking over the past.

Right from the start my session with Mandi was different to anything I have experienced in the past. I have had counselling where I have felt pushed to find answers, put feelings into words and think up solutions. This was not the case during my session with Mandi. From the moment I sat down and made myself comfortable, I was aware that I didn’t have to do anything other than to be receptive. Nothing felt forced and I make connections between childhood events and the present without effort. Tuning in to how I was feeling came easily and many emotions that I had been unaware of were brought to light.

There was a feeling of flow and trust, not only in Mandi but in the entire universe. I felt undeniable relaxation and love for all, even those who had hurt me.

At the end of the session I chose a card from a pack and it was ‘Deep Cleansing’, perfectly mirroring my feelings about what had taken place that hour.

I was refreshed and ready for the next chapter in my life.

After my healing session with Mandi, I felt at peace, calm, relaxed and reassured that my life was unfolding in way that would best serve me and my loved ones.

That night I slept soundly. I had a dream where I was pursuing my ex-lover to win him back. I felt certain that we were meant to be together. In my dream, I successfully seduced him and we were back together. At which point I felt disappointed and I realised that being with this man was not what my soul wanted. All the reasons I had for ending the relationship where still there. All I felt was disappointment and an overwhelming feeling that this connection was not enough for me, that I deserved better. I felt some closure on the relationship and was able to let go of the idea that we were meant to be together. I had experienced this in my dream and it did not bring happiness, only disappointment.

I would recommend seeking Mandi’s guidance to anyone who is feeling they are stuck or in emotion pain.

This woman has gifts to heal and bring peace and comfort.

Love Renae x



never not here

I wrote on my Facebook page recently how we are only ever here now and everything else is the construct of the mind.  This received much interest (which is wonderful) so I would like to take a moment to expand.

It’s important to be able to distinguish between the mind and conscious intelligence. The mind remembers, identifies, compares, associates, doubts, fears, mistrusts (past focus).  The mind also anticipates, expects, imagines, guesses, hopes, plans (future focus).

Conscious intelligence does not think. Conscious intelligence senses (looking, listening, feeling, tasting, and smelling). Conscious intelligence is aware and is only ever here NOW.

Connecting to this ever present intelligence creates a state where we can begin to bear witness to the mind clutter.  This is crucial to developing a more awake and aware conscious presence and it is through taking this path to self that you may discover true joy and peace in your Self and your life.

Maintaining a state of centeredness is a moment to moment process. A dance between mind focus and expanded self, finding the balance in between where there is calm, connectedness and ever expanding awareness of self is our purpose.

So given the chaotic world we live in how does this relate to functioning as an emotional being?

As human beings and human becomings we experience emotions – energy in motion.  Emotions are essentially our teacher – they are signposts, signals from our soul, or a reflection of our conscious mind. We will never be without them – at least not while we are alive.  Emotions are signposts and gateways to healing. Learning to work with and be with your emotions is a powerful action for transformation.  Next time you are experiencing a strong emotion or are overwhelmed, anxious, fearful, happy, sad – find a quiet space with no interruptions and sit with the emotion.  Go within, and using your mind and your imagination become aware of where the emotion sits in your body, if it has shape, colour and texture. Enquire where the feeling comes from allowing whatever comes up to come up – bearing witness with no judgement just gentle, acceptance and love.

Self-awareness involves becoming aware of your emotions as signposts for growth, and not obstacles, as they contain some of the most important information about you and show you how are being in relation to life.

Go within – this is where the treasure is found.

the law of intention and desire

We are co-creators of our life. We have all heard the following sayings: We are creating machines. You are what you think.  Your life is your thoughts in action.  What you think now will be your tomorrow. Our now is a result of past intentions and desires, conscious and subconscious.

The truth is we live in a continual state of creation.  As energetic beings, our energy flows in the direction of our thoughts – our energy flows where our attention goes.  And when we place our attention to our intention the Universal Intelligence will orchestrate an infinite number of events in the quantum field – the field of spiritually – to bring about and manifest our desires.

The difference between Intention and Desire is this; If you have an intention say for example to have fish for dinner you will go to the shop and buy the fish and cook it for dinner. If you desire fish for dinner with no intention you will have a craving that will not be satisfied at least not without intention.  And this only serves to occupy our minds, take up vital creative energy and distract us from our true nature.

It’s important when setting your intention to state it in the positive and in present tense.  If you say to yourself I am working towards health, wealth and abundance, then so be it. You will continuously be working toward this goal and never really attaining it.  If you state I am living in health, wealth and abundance then so be it.  You may not see the results immediately but they will happen.  The when depends on a number of things… your belief, your vibrational alignment, and the timing of the event.  When it is in the best interest of all involved or even if it is in the best interest of all involved to not see this event actualized.  This is where faith and belief comes in but that’s another topic!

I have long held the belief that we are responsible for creating our life.  And that our thoughts are powerful beyond measure.  So much so that years ago I was diagnosed with a condition that I firmly believed I could think my way out of. I couldn’t and the condition became much worse and I ended up going under surgery and having lengthy post-op treatment.  I realise now that what I was doing was using affirmations to state my way to health.  I wasn’t vibrationally aligned and I didn’t have the wisdom or knowledge I needed or hey… it just wasn’t the right time.

So what do I know now that is the difference that makes the difference; emotion.  Emotion is the vehicle on which our desires and intentions ride.  There are only two emotions from which all other emotions stem – Fear and Love.  Anything other than Love takes you away from your true nature.  Anything other than Love lowers your vibration.  The vibration you have radiates out into the universe and is matched by source, God, Mother Earth Father Sky or the Universal Intelligence.  When your vibration is radiating to Love you are vibrationally aligned in a way that attracts to you better feeling things.

“What you are living all day, every day is the manifested evidence in your own belief. A belief is only a thought you continue to think, a vibration that uou have practiced often enough that now it is dominant and therefore comes up easily and often, is a point of attraction that brings evidence of itself to you…” Abraham

Giving thanks, feeling gratitude for something, everyday will bring about significant change in your vibration.  I may have digressed from the original topic of Intention and Desire but there is a reason.

Question put to Deepak Chopra: How can you identify intuition from wishful thinking (hope) or fear? And what is the relationship between intuition, synchronicity and manifesting your desire in the presence of obstacles coming up?

This is Deepak’s response: Simple and accurate intuition is devoid of fear or hope. Intuition presents itself independent of our anxiety and anticipation. Synchronicity is a kind of external intuition where we glimpse the orchestrated workings of cosmic intelligence around us.

Manifesting our desires or intentions is a different phenomenon altogether. It involves sending a request to the universal intelligence in the silence of our awareness and then allowing it to fulfill that intention according to your highest purpose. Any obstacles in this process from the individual would involve blocks in awareness that prevent the experience of pure consciousness. Other obstacles would involve the proper timing for the fulfillment of the desire. But that isn’t really an obstacle as much as it is a lack of understanding of how our desires need to be coordinated with others in our environment.

So in closing – where intention and desire meet is the field of pure potentiality this is where the magic happens.